mental health, Mindfulness, Uncategorized, wellness

Out of the Phone and Into Real Life

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I have a confession; I’m starting to have an unhealthy relationship with my phone. I love how convenient it makes my life, but I hate that sometimes I go to bed and feel like my eyeballs have merely jumped from one screen to another for 16 hours of the day! Ironically you are now reading an article about how to minimise your smart phone screen time while you’re on it, am I right?

I realised that I needed to change things when my phone was the first thing I reached for upon waking and the last thing I touched when I went to bed. Too much information? Spooning becomes less romantic when you are holding your phone that’s for sure. I also have moments with my device in the bathroom, the kitchen, the lounge and dare I even say it; the car (only at the traffic lights). But seriously WTF is so important all the time that we need it glued to our hands?

I have a few theories, the first one is FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). God forbid that we will miss something on our Instagram or Facebook feed that happened between the 10 minutes of not checking it! Secondly, the thrill of receiving a notification and the inner dialogue associated with it; “How many people like my post?” or “What did they write?” or “What will they think of me if I don’t write back quickly?” Truly, this happens to all of us, but especially when you’re starting out in business and have never been a massive social media user, hoping that at least someone is finding your content useful. Again, these are my confessions….

So how do we minimise our screen time, when it’s not just social media that lures us, but also our work emails and other stuff like online shopping or the latest viral video that everyone’s talking about. I’m hoping the below list gets me through the next month, so maybe you can try a few tips if you’re feeling the same and let me know what worked for you:

1. Buy an old school alarm clock and keep technology out of the bedroom

2. Stop taking the phone into every area of the house (my place is tiny, this is a problem!)

3. No phone use half an hour before bedtime

4. Give people your full attention when having a conversation – phone down

5. Set a timer for work email notifications i.e – nothing comes through between 7pm and 7am

6. No phones at the dinner table

7. Do something on the weekend without posting about it #guilty

8. Have a meal without instagraming it – I’ve never done this but it may be helpful for others, I’m always too hungry to take pictures!

9. Play with your pets when they are sitting there staring at you on your phone

10. Same as previous but replace this with kids (for me this will be my husband!)

Really, we all just need to reconnect with what’s around us and get our heads out of the phone and into real life. When you have to visit the Chiro because your forehead is constantly facing the floor, it’s time to take action. I’m not there yet and hopefully never will be that bad!

Uncategorized

The Things We Do For Love

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Like most people, I watched the Royal Wedding over the weekend and through the fancy hats and dresses, I observed Meghan’s face and mannerisms. She was so graceful and reserved, almost looking uncomfortable. I said to my husband “I really hope she’s not sacrificing who she is for Harry”. No doubt there are loads of things she will now have to do differently. He replied, “Maybe being with Harry is bringing her closer to herself. She also has a great platform to launch her humanitarian campaigns”. Aaahhh, good point mate!

This had me looking at our relationship in a different light. About 7 years ago I moved from Perth to Melbourne to be with my husband. I wanted to see if how I felt was real and also, I had nothing to lose. I was the single one in my group of friends whilst everyone else was getting married and having kids, so it was time for me to spread my wings and try something new.

Moving was scary and so different to what I’d imagined. I was naïve to think that I’d just get there, knock Adam over the head like a cave woman and drag his a*se back to Perth. I mean who wouldn’t want that?! What I came to learn very quickly was that he had a great life in Melbourne and if I truly wanted to pursue this, I was going to have to knuckle down and get acquainted with new friends, thermals and great coffee – not so bad right?

Honestly, our relationship has endured many highs and lows based on geographic location. I hate the cold with a vengeance and he loves winter. Skiing gives me anxiety and he LOVES snowboarding. I miss my family every day and of course he loves his family, but I’m an only child from a massive Italian herd. It’s different! I used to feel like I needed to sacrifice so much of who I was for us to work, but as time goes by I realise; If it wasn’t for our relationship, I wouldn’t be who I am now. I wouldn’t be running my own business and experiencing a great life in Sydney (yep another move). We’ve worked so hard together to create a life that is ours, a life that has seen us both grow and evolve.

I’ve had to get used to change being constant in my life, which has made me more resilient. I’ve had to face my own demons and overcome them. I’ve shed so many layers of who I thought I was, to find out who I truly am. It hasn’t come without the tears and heartache, but that’s all part of the journey. We don’t have kids yet so maybe ask me how I’m going when that happens and it might be another story…

What are some things you’ve changed for the people in your life who are nearest and dearest? And how can you frame it differently to see the positive? We are so quick to judge situations in a negative light, until we start to see the lessons and the growth. We can only shift our perspective once we leave our comfort zone and invite new ways of thinking into our lives. Imagine the possibilities when we see things differently!