mental health, Mindfulness, Uncategorized, wellness

Out of the Phone and Into Real Life

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I have a confession; I’m starting to have an unhealthy relationship with my phone. I love how convenient it makes my life, but I hate that sometimes I go to bed and feel like my eyeballs have merely jumped from one screen to another for 16 hours of the day! Ironically you are now reading an article about how to minimise your smart phone screen time while you’re on it, am I right?

I realised that I needed to change things when my phone was the first thing I reached for upon waking and the last thing I touched when I went to bed. Too much information? Spooning becomes less romantic when you are holding your phone that’s for sure. I also have moments with my device in the bathroom, the kitchen, the lounge and dare I even say it; the car (only at the traffic lights). But seriously WTF is so important all the time that we need it glued to our hands?

I have a few theories, the first one is FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). God forbid that we will miss something on our Instagram or Facebook feed that happened between the 10 minutes of not checking it! Secondly, the thrill of receiving a notification and the inner dialogue associated with it; “How many people like my post?” or “What did they write?” or “What will they think of me if I don’t write back quickly?” Truly, this happens to all of us, but especially when you’re starting out in business and have never been a massive social media user, hoping that at least someone is finding your content useful. Again, these are my confessions….

So how do we minimise our screen time, when it’s not just social media that lures us, but also our work emails and other stuff like online shopping or the latest viral video that everyone’s talking about. I’m hoping the below list gets me through the next month, so maybe you can try a few tips if you’re feeling the same and let me know what worked for you:

1. Buy an old school alarm clock and keep technology out of the bedroom

2. Stop taking the phone into every area of the house (my place is tiny, this is a problem!)

3. No phone use half an hour before bedtime

4. Give people your full attention when having a conversation – phone down

5. Set a timer for work email notifications i.e – nothing comes through between 7pm and 7am

6. No phones at the dinner table

7. Do something on the weekend without posting about it #guilty

8. Have a meal without instagraming it – I’ve never done this but it may be helpful for others, I’m always too hungry to take pictures!

9. Play with your pets when they are sitting there staring at you on your phone

10. Same as previous but replace this with kids (for me this will be my husband!)

Really, we all just need to reconnect with what’s around us and get our heads out of the phone and into real life. When you have to visit the Chiro because your forehead is constantly facing the floor, it’s time to take action. I’m not there yet and hopefully never will be that bad!

mental health, Mindfulness, wellness

Growing Pains in Self Awareness

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I wish I could tell you my path to self-discovery has been easy but that would be a huge lie! I’ve found parts of myself that I never knew existed which had me wondering, ‘Wow did I really used to be that much of an a*sehole?’ Especially through the teenage years where I probably resembled a mix between The Exorcist and a Gremlin (sorry mum).

I’m still learning every day and I hope I continue to do so as the years go by. The truth is we are all constantly evolving and growing, hopefully trying to become better people before we sign out of this lifetime.

My path to seek a higher awareness of who I really was, kicked off when I was 21. I had just thrown a stiletto at one of my ex boyfriend’s heads in response to rumors of infidelity and wound up weeks later in conversation with his mother, about how it might be time to get my anger issues under control. Look, it was an age thing but also? I come from a hot blooded Italian family! We will give you the shirt off our back but if you screw us over, we lose it and I MEAN lose it.

The self-discovery was on and off for the first few years; a meditation class here, a herbal remedy there and even a few psychics to help me understand WTF was happening to me in my 20’s where it just felt like every decision I made was the wrong one, and I kept gravitating towards people and situations that were completely the opposite of who I wanted to be. The problem was I actually had no concept of the real ME, Melissa.

Fast forward to present day in my 30’s after a thousand sessions with some of the best coaches, healers, and natural therapy practitioners in Australia and I’m here. I definitely have a much stronger sense of who I am and what I stand for, but that hasn’t been without a lot of physical and emotional pain when you dig deep. The payoff? An amazing sense of lightness that comes after shedding each layer of life that no longer serves you. Sometimes those layers come in the form of a job, a relationship or even a friendship. Sometimes you legitimately feel like you can’t peel yourself off the floor after having a self-awareness ‘growth spurt’ and other days you feel like the happiest and most enlightened person to walk the Earth.

So how do we get through the growing pains when we commit to getting to know ourselves? You stick with it. You find your people. You get really good at spotting the bullsh*t and refusing to stand for it. You expand. You become happier than you ever thought you could be and you start seeing life in colour, not greyscale.

If you want to dig a little deeper and are ready to get onboard with self discovery, drop me an email – mel@timetoexhale.com.au. Clearly after reading this you’ll realise I’ve not always had it together, but it’s what brought me here so that I can help and understand others. I can’t promise it will be easy at times but I guarantee I’ll be there standing beside you the whole way!