Like most people, I watched the Royal Wedding over the weekend and through the fancy hats and dresses, I observed Meghan’s face and mannerisms. She was so graceful and reserved, almost looking uncomfortable. I said to my husband “I really hope she’s not sacrificing who she is for Harry”. No doubt there are loads of things she will now have to do differently. He replied, “Maybe being with Harry is bringing her closer to herself. She also has a great platform to launch her humanitarian campaigns”. Aaahhh, good point mate!
This had me looking at our relationship in a different light. About 7 years ago I moved from Perth to Melbourne to be with my husband. I wanted to see if how I felt was real and also, I had nothing to lose. I was the single one in my group of friends whilst everyone else was getting married and having kids, so it was time for me to spread my wings and try something new.
Moving was scary and so different to what I’d imagined. I was naïve to think that I’d just get there, knock Adam over the head like a cave woman and drag his a*se back to Perth. I mean who wouldn’t want that?! What I came to learn very quickly was that he had a great life in Melbourne and if I truly wanted to pursue this, I was going to have to knuckle down and get acquainted with new friends, thermals and great coffee – not so bad right?
Honestly, our relationship has endured many highs and lows based on geographic location. I hate the cold with a vengeance and he loves winter. Skiing gives me anxiety and he LOVES snowboarding. I miss my family every day and of course he loves his family, but I’m an only child from a massive Italian herd. It’s different! I used to feel like I needed to sacrifice so much of who I was for us to work, but as time goes by I realise; If it wasn’t for our relationship, I wouldn’t be who I am now. I wouldn’t be running my own business and experiencing a great life in Sydney (yep another move). We’ve worked so hard together to create a life that is ours, a life that has seen us both grow and evolve.
I’ve had to get used to change being constant in my life, which has made me more resilient. I’ve had to face my own demons and overcome them. I’ve shed so many layers of who I thought I was, to find out who I truly am. It hasn’t come without the tears and heartache, but that’s all part of the journey. We don’t have kids yet so maybe ask me how I’m going when that happens and it might be another story…
What are some things you’ve changed for the people in your life who are nearest and dearest? And how can you frame it differently to see the positive? We are so quick to judge situations in a negative light, until we start to see the lessons and the growth. We can only shift our perspective once we leave our comfort zone and invite new ways of thinking into our lives. Imagine the possibilities when we see things differently!